The Journey Through Teen Years

Whether you are experiencing your teenagers time of independence as a time of battling wills or a time of growth and action - really doesn't matter at the moment. Either way it is possible to bring quite to the loud tantrums and peace to your whole house.

The three main ideas to successfully raising your teenager are connection, monitoring and psychological autonomy. By mastering these three concepts you will bring peace to havoc and joy to early adulthood.

First is a sense of connection between the parent and the teenager which provides a foundation in which all other interaction will take place. Teenagers who have a warm, loving, and accepting home are more likely to grow up and have better relationships.

The second idea is that of monitoring. Teenagers who have parents who take a genuine interest in their activities are more likely to stay out of trouble.

The third idea is psychological autonomy. This is when parents genuinely respect their teens ideas even when they are different from their own.

Now granted the three main ideas may sound overly simplistic sitting on this page. However, you can't beat a good relationship between parent and teen these days. So it is in your best interest to do all you can do to foster that good relationship.

Partaking in recreational activities with your teenagers will enhance your relationship. You must spend time with them. Having regular positive interaction is crucial if discipline is going to work.

Although it may be difficult having boundaries and rules -- sticking to them is also essential. Teenagers are changing quickly and they need the sense of security that boundaries gives to them. Even when they protest over them, they will learn that their actions have consequences. And that is an important lesson.

Remember as you are going through this new territory that it is a journey for all of you. So calmness and being ready for the teenage behavior and mishaps will go a long way in cementing a solid loving relationship between you.

There are three points I'd like to add for parents at this time. First, having a positive relationship with your teenage is essential for success. Second, being genuinely interested in your teens activities allows you to be able to monitor more accurately. And third, encourage independent thought and expression and you will have a teenager who is strong and will have a healthy sense of self and an increased ability to not follow their peers.

Chores is another area that need to be addressed. Ideally you should start your children doing chores as soon as possible. First start with the young ones and have them wash their own faces or rinse out the sink when they are done. Then gradually increase the chores as they grow. It is important that teenagers also have chores. It teaches them how to work and how to gain responsibility.

To help with the teenage years you have to plan earlier in your child's life. Giving them chores or projects to do without expecting to receive payment will build their character as well as help them understand that they have responsibilities as they grow older.

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