Establish Boundaries for Teens
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Establish Boundaries for Teens
Every parent should establish boundaries for teens in their family. Not only is it important for the parent, but teens really want some boundaries. Don't expect your teen to ever admit they need and desire this, however. The teen wants to express independence and any admission of the need for boundaries in their lives goes against their grain. They want to appear to be 'cool' and 'hip'.
When you establish boundaries for teens, you need to be reasonable about those rules and guidelines. Teens need curfews to be set and enforced. Just because another young person's parents choose not to set curfews, that doesn't mean that it is okay for you not to establish firm curfews and make sure your teen follows these rules. Curfews can differ depending on the night of the week and the activity the teen is involved with. If it is a special night, like prom night, you may want to extend curfew an hour or so. If it is a school night or your teen has to work at their part-time job the next day, then an earlier curfew is in order. Before your teen makes plans, the curfew needs to be discussed and your teen needs to know what happens if they fail to come home at or before the curfew time. Actions need to have consequences. If your teen is late, a privilege should be removed. If your teen consistently meets their curfew, a reward such as an added privilege should be considered. As you define boundaries for your teen, you need to consider their maturity level. Not every teen of the same age can handle the same level of responsibility and be trusted with the same privileges. Determine your teen's level of judgement and determine how comfortable you are with allowing certain activities. If you do not feel comfortable with your teen staying over at a particular friend's house, talk to your teen about this boundary and why you feel the way you do. Your teen may not agree, but when it comes to boundaries, you have to trust your own judgement and not let your teen pressure you into giving permission to do things that cause you a great deal of worry. Be reasonable but firm when you establish boundaries for teens. Don't stop your teen from being allowed to do everything fun and normal for a person their age. Do, however prevent them from doing things that could involve them in making bad choices and becoming involved with activities that are not healthy or safe.
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